Student life in Utrecht
Student life is one of the most beautiful periods in someone’s life. It is a time of independence, youth, unforgettable adventures, and deep connections. On the other hand, it is also a time of struggle. As a young person, you are going through the process of forming your identity, and you might find yourself wondering ‘Who am I?’, ‘What do I want in my life and how can I get there?’.
Often, studying goes hand-in-hand with moving out of your parents’ home to a new city, or even a new country. Because of this, you might experience adaptation problems, feelings of loneliness, and alienation. High expectations are lurking around every corner: expectations from yourself, your parents, your teachers, and society. It’s easy to feel confused, overwhelmed, or blocked by all of this pressure. When you think you don’t or can’t meet all the expectations, or you feel lonely, you might blame yourself and experience feeling small, insignificant, or even unworthy.
Experiencing any of the above can make you feel that you are walking in the dark, clueless, without being able to find a way out. This is where I hope to help you, by guiding you on this path and walking it together. As a psychologist working in Utrecht, I’m familiar with the issues you might be facing. My approach is to identify your strengths with you and use them to overcome the mental and behavioral blockages that you are experiencing.
Our therapeutic relationship is of utmost importance to me. Research shows that a good relationship with your therapist is the most significant factor for a successful outcome in therapy. Therefore, for me, honesty and transparency are essential ingredients in forming and maintaining a good relationship between us.
You are in the right place if you need help with the following issues:
Identity
For many students, entering university involves considerable changes in their lives. From moving out to their parent’s home to changing their educational environment, and – in part – leaving behind their high-school friends.
If this is you, you may be struggling with finding your way in your new city (or country!) or the new educational system you’re dealing with, but you might also have problems with life in general, assuming your role as a student with its myriad of responsibilities. You may notice a shift in your mindset, a change in yourself that may leave you confused and disoriented. This can lead to questions about your own identity, as well as your place in the world. This is not uncommon, and you are not alone. You’re going through a lot of changes.
I will help you out of this labyrinth, and support you in straightening the tangled yarn of your thoughts by offering a mirror to your true self.
Depression
Depression is considered one of the most common health problems among university students. Depression is characterized by the WHO as a persistent sadness and a lack of interest in previously rewarding or enjoyable activities, that is very often paired with negative thinking, tiredness, and poor concentration. It can also have a negative effect on sleep and appetite.
Though a certain degree of sadness and depression is part of everyday life, persistent sadness can be debilitating, interfere with your everyday functioning, and can even lead to suicide. You may experience tiredness, and loss of energy and have difficulties in getting things done. Additionally, you may find yourself overthinking past events, which add to your tiredness. At other times, your mind may feel foggy, sluggish, and muddled, which makes it difficult to concentrate on your daily tasks. Depression can make you draw inwards, away from people, spending more and more time alone.
I will help you deal with your depression by identifying your negative thoughts and by guiding you to develop a healthy self-view. How will you address depression?
Loneliness
We all know what loneliness means. We’ve all felt lonely at some point in our lives. It’s that feeling of emptiness, the feeling of being unwanted and alone. It’s not uncommon to feel lonely even if you have many people around you, since loneliness isn’t directly related to not having people around you. The feeling of loneliness can have several negative effects on your well-being, which in turn can result in problems in your studies.
If you feel lonely and crave social interactions, but don’t know how to deal with it, I can support you in developing positive social skills, addressing maladaptive social cognitions, and increasing opportunities for social interaction.
Self-esteem
“Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.”
Aberjhani
We often hear that we should love ourselves and we should believe in ourselves, but that is easier said than done. Someone’s self-esteem is formed and influenced by several factors, such as genetics, personality, life experiences, thoughts, and social circumstances, and by comparing yourself to others. Your self-esteem can fluctuate from one period to the other, depending on the circumstances in your life at a given period.
During university, students may experience lower self-esteem due to being evaluated not only by teachers but also by peers. You may catch yourself having negative thoughts, such as “I’m stupid”, “I can’t do this,”, “I always do everything wrong,” or “No one likes me”. These thoughts might become more intense during examination periods or after receiving low(er) grades. This might make you feel wanting to give up; you don’t feel motivated anymore and are disengaging from the tasks at hand.
If this is you, I can help you by finding those issues that make you feel the way you do about yourself and turning your self-image into a more positive one.
Relationship problems
As humans, we crave social interactions and harmonious relationships. We have an innate need to belong, to be loved, and to be understood, and as such, we invest a lot of time and energy in family, friends, and romantic relationships.
However, relationships don’t always run smoothly and problems with friendships are a common problem among students. These problems can take various forms depending on the parties involved; they could be related to your parents, friends, teachers, romantic partners, or someone else. Whichever relationship lies at the heart of the problem, it can have a powerful impact on your studies and general well-being. This might show itself in you picking fights more often, having feelings of resentment, or experiencing trust issues. There may be a blockage in communication and you may feel that you are not understood, or that you don’t (care to) understand the other.
During therapy, we will look into what causes the problems that you experience in your relationships and we will address them together.
Anxiety
Anxiety can come in various forms. What all forms have in common, though, is a constant feeling of unease, worry, or fear.
As a student, you might often experience social anxiety. This could manifest as feeling paralyzed when you have to speak up in a group or in front of an audience, or as feeling awkward in front of others, which makes you question your social abilities. Your worries can also be associated with test anxiety, especially before an examination or exam period. Other types of anxieties that you might experience are anxiety regarding peer pressure, anticipatory anxiety, performance anxiety, separation anxiety, generalized anxiety, and specific (social) phobias – the fear of an object or situation.
In therapy, we will look at the type of fear you are experiencing together, and work on lowering your anxiety level.
Perfectionism
We live in a fast-paced world, where society imposes high demands on us. This is especially true for students who have to constantly deliver and show that they can perform well. These high demands become often internalized and can drive a person to engage in toxic behavior to reach their goals. You might work hard but feel that your efforts are never good enough. Fear of failure will lead to avoiding performing tasks. Additionally, this form of perfectionism often allows you to measure your self-worth in terms of accomplishments and successes. No matter what form it takes, you feel the need to exhibit perfect behavior, as otherwise you’re left with a feeling of worthlessness.
During our therapy sessions, we can explore where your perfectionism comes from, and apply techniques to reducing perfectionist behavior, and challenging perfectionist thinking.
Burnout
Though burnout is most often linked to professional work settings, students can also experience symptoms of burnout due to high curricular demands. The term ‘burnout’ became popular in the last decade, and is used to express extreme exhaustion, tiredness, feeling trapped and overwhelmed.
As a student, you may feel tired most of the time due to a high workload. You may feel exhausted, and have negative thoughts about your future. Other burnout symptoms in students are self-doubt and feeling detached from their environment.
To address your issues, you must first recognize the signs that often lead to burnout. We can look at your situation together, and identify the best ways to cope with tasks, studies, and other stress factors in your life.
